you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for
Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their lousy programs, which no one there
watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with
Canadians & Aussies: Prefer to actually engage in sports
rather than watch them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey,
how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms
in every sport they played them in.
Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to
Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live
on an island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and
in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and
in a backwards country.
Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans
were once Canadian.
Aussies: Wallow on about how some of their past citizens were
outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.
Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure
are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several
Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways and avoid
Americans: Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly and dump
their old ways.
Brits: Encourage immigrants to go to Canada or America.
Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy,
Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!
Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore
because they don't understand subtle humor.
© 2006, Jace Carlton. All International Rights Reserved.