How To Get Kicked Out Of A Chemistry Class!

As always, do not try any of the following in real life!

9. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.

8. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again ... not again ... not again."

6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"

5. Deny the existence of chemicals.

4. Write on the board - "Picnic Today" and then when your classmates arrive, begin toasting marshmallows over the bunsen burner.

3. Pour glycerin on all of the counters, and watch the equipment and chemical bottles slide off as they are used in your classmates' experiments.

2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid.

and last but not least ...

1. Carry a small vile of water and tell everyone that you have the secret to invisibility in there. Place the bottle down and pretend not to be watching it very carefully.

Copyright © 2006, Jace Carlton.  All International Rights Reserved.