You Know You Need A New
Lawyer When ...
During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you some Amway
> He tells you his last good case was a "Budweiser".
> When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each
> He picks the jury by playing "Eeeenie, meeeenie, miiiinie, moe".
> During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.
> The Court Bailiff starts shaving your head during your first court
> Every couple of minutes, he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the
stand!" and downs a shot.
> He places a large "NO REFUNDS" sign on the defense table.
> He begins his closing argument with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."
> Just before he says "Your Honor", he makes little quotation marks
in the air with his fingers.
> The sign in front of his office reads "Practicing law since 2:30pm"
> Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge,
> He laughs every time he hears the word "briefs".
© 2006, Jace Carlton. All International Rights Reserved.