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You Know You Need A New Lawyer When ...

> During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you some Amway products.

> He tells you his last good case was a "Budweiser".

> When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

> He picks the jury by playing "Eeeenie, meeeenie, miiiinie, moe".

> During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.

> The Court Bailiff starts shaving your head during your first court appearance.

> Every couple of minutes, he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and downs a shot.

> He places a large "NO REFUNDS" sign on the defense table.

> He begins his closing argument with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."

> Just before he says "Your Honor", he makes little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

> The sign in front of his office reads "Practicing law since 2:30pm"

> Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

> He laughs every time he hears the word "briefs".

James Odle, Jr.

Copyright © 2006, Jace Carlton.  All International Rights Reserved.
Copyright © 2005-2013, Jace Carlton.  All International Rights Reserved.