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There Oughta Be A Law!

Flat Broke
A prisoner stood before the judge, awaiting sentencing on his conviction.

The judge asked, "Have you anything to offer this court before I pass sentence?"

"Nope," said the prisoner. "My lawyer took every last penny."

Swimming with Sharks
A doctor, a minister and a lawyer huddled together in a tiny lifeboat.  The water around them was filled with sharks.

Suddenly the lifeboat began to fill with water.  As they furiously bailed, they noticed a sign that read: "Maximum capacity 2 persons."  They decided to draw straws to see who'd jump overboard.

The lawyer drew the short straw and promptly jumped into the water.  As he swam away, the sharks didn't attack --- instead, they drew back to make a path for him.

Amazed, the doctor turned to the minister and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"That's no miracle," responded the minister. "Just professional courtesy."

Dorian Bell

The Kind Lawyer
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in his shiny limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.  Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate the  situation.  He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.  "We have to eat grass."

Shocked, the lawyer said, "Well, then you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you!"

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me.  They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer  replied.

Turning to the other poor man, he said, "You come with us, too."  The second man said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all!" the lawyer answered and they all jammed into the huge limo.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind.  Thank you for taking all of us with you."

Genuinely touched, the lawyer replied,  "Glad to do it!  You'll really love my place ... the grass is almost a foot high!"

James Odle, Jr.

Copyright © 2006, Jace Carlton.  All International Rights Reserved.
Copyright © 2005-2013, Jace Carlton.  All International Rights Reserved.