There Oughta Be A Law!
A prisoner stood
before the judge,
awaiting sentencing on his conviction.
The judge asked, "Have
you anything to offer this court before I pass sentence?"
"Nope," said the
prisoner. "My lawyer took every last penny."
Swimming with Sharks
A doctor, a minister
and a lawyer huddled
together in a tiny lifeboat.
The water around them was filled with sharks.
Suddenly the lifeboat
began to fill with water. As they furiously
bailed, they noticed a sign that read: "Maximum capacity 2
They decided to draw straws to see who'd jump overboard.
The lawyer drew the short
straw and promptly jumped into the water. As
he swam away, the sharks didn't attack --- instead, they drew back to
make a path for him.
Amazed, the doctor turned
to the minister and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"That's no miracle,"
responded the minister. "Just professional courtesy."
The Kind Lawyer
afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in his shiny limousine when he
saw two men along the roadside eating
grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to
investigate the situation. He asked one man, "Why are you
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man
replied. "We have to eat grass."
Shocked, the lawyer said, "Well, then you can come with me to my house
and I'll feed you!"
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over
there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man, he said, "You come with us, too."
second man said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all!" the lawyer answered and they all jammed into the huge
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind. Thank
you for taking all of us with you."
Genuinely touched, the lawyer replied, "Glad to do it!
really love my place ... the grass is almost a foot high!"
James Odle, Jr.